i, amazingly alive
this is what i'm feeling right now, frustrated:
defeated: disappointingly unsuccessful; "disappointed expectations and thwarted ambitions"; "their foiled attempt to capture Calais"; "many frustrated poets end as pipe-smoking teachers"; "his best efforts were thwarted"i,
cornered and cowardly captured.
i,
wasted and waiting with watchful wrenched wrists.
i,
totally topless and traitor-ed.
i,
mangled mouth and misunderstood.
i,
butchered and basterdized.
i,
yanked from yellow yonder.
i,
demeanor dame and dreadful.
i,
shitty and sorrowful.
i,
gorge ganges flow.
i,
bet you don't know what i mean.
i,
don't give a fuck.
i,
am gone.
Don't - A short story by Lolita's Lovelies
Prologue This is a simple story about a girl’s life, she is not a superstar and neither is she a ravishing beauty. She is just like you and me, a simple down-to-earth girl, with random weird antics and has to deal with just about the same problems you and I deal with; school, money, boy and growing out of her teenage self.
She dyed her hair medium brown a few months back, so now her hair is a mixture of dark brown at the roots and medium brown showing halfway through. A hair-dyeing phase she went through just because she was into experimenting and wanted to be different, yet found out that there was no point in it because every colour in the world has been tried and tested. It was time to move on to newer things. She is not vertically challenged and yet not tall enough to cut as a model, just in-between.
She lives alone in a messy and small 3-room HDB flat left behind by her late parents, they left her early when she was only 12 in a car accident in JB, thereafter her single-parent uncle took care of her until she was 18 and left her to fend for herself in her lonely flat given to her by her parents. With nothing to lean on, this simple girl has been living the life of a miserable orphan.
Her name is Nelly, a 19 year old polytechnic student studying media; her aspiration is to become the next best thing to a very successful director. A successful director. She loved to tell stories, but unfortunately there was no one to listen to her crazy rants and ramblings. She could not find the right person she wanted to share her stories with, a pity since she had already started writing since the age of 7. Her favorite pastimes was to watch movies, listen to her favorite Korean or Japanese songs, play the guitar and compose poetry as well as writing short stories.
Now as a poor student living in a 3-room flat, she needed to find a way to pay for her bills, tuition fees and daily food and transport expenses. So she worked various part-time jobs, as a waitress, sales girl, bar hostess, tuition teacher and many countless odd jobs which took up most of her time. Thus she did not stick around class or school to talk to her classmates; she was usually rushing off to work, not wasting a single moment. She slowly became an outcast because many people just did not get to know Nelly very well, they made assumptions and those assumptions became rumors. Nelly did not bother and all the more shunned away from her ‘friends’.
Nelly’s life is not perfect, but she was contented. Not until one day when a boy stepped into her life, and turned it upside down. And this is their story…
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
For those who haven't seen the movie, its an independent film by the way, do go borrow or buy the dvd because its a really deep and the use of visual effects in the movie is subtle enough that we don't get distracted by it.
(= picachao.
This is just an excerpt since the poem itself is really damn long.
Eloisa to AbelardHow happy is the blameless vestal's lot!The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.Grace shines around her with serenest beams,And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,For her white virgins hymeneals sing,To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,And melts in visions of eternal day.
